mixtapes & cupcakes

I miss.

I miss New York. I miss working at Ugly Betty. I miss walking around the set and standing the their fake living room in their fake house. I miss the subway. I miss Cody’s Doppleganger who I would see waiting for the A-train every night around 7:30, while going uptown. I miss that girl who would get on the 7 every morning and she was Asian and always had really cute clothes. I miss that old lady with the Jewish pins on her backpack that she would role around. I miss that fact that in the city with the most people in the world, you still saw some of the same people that you never talked too. I miss Crumbs Bakery, more specifically their M&M cupcake. I miss getting off of work, heading down to Union Square, and checking out the village shops while it snowed. I miss Ricky’s. I miss Shake Shack. And I miss the Barnes & Noble on 66th. I miss coming off of the 1 at 23rd in order to go to Outback, and seeing that building with the clock on it. I miss walking to work in Queens in the early morning and seeing the sun set over the New York City skyline. I miss that AMC in Times Square with the Regal right across the street. I miss the guacamole dip at Rosa Mexicana. I miss ordering sangria and not being carded. I miss that Indian guy working at the gas station at Hunters Point who knew what I would buy every morning. I miss Danny, the teamster who would always make great conversations. I miss the rush of Macy’s, the awe of Bendles, and Whole Foods. I miss walking across Madison Square Park in order to go Vinyl Shopping at Bleeker Street Records. I miss listening to my iPod on the subway, and that poor guy in the Times Square subway who would have a band of plastic dolls. I miss seeing four movies in a day and Doris buying me margarita’s. I miss the city.

I want.

I want to be content this summer, whether it be with an internship, living in New York, or staying in Savannah and doing nothing. I want to be motivated and keep my goals. I want to be in Ireland, France, and Scotland, all at once, for always and forever. I want Schweppes Agrum. I want to see Jimmy Buffet in concert, I want to go skydiving, and I want my 21st birthday to get here so I can celebrate in Vegas. I want to be done with finals. I want to know what I will be doing after college. I want a relationship. I want cooking skills, club attire, and to speak French fluently. I want to return to Versailles. I want my family and friends to be happy. I want him to leave town and explore the world. I want to read all of Jane Austen’s novels. I want to win at Blackjack, make someone laugh, and to write something that will make someone feel. I want to meet Lee Pace, work with Baz Lurhmann, and have a flat in some great city with Alicia while we struggle to stay alive for the time being. I want to learn how to break dance. I want to paint something. I want to knit something. I want to pay off my loans. I want to be happy and I want not to want anything at all.

I love.

I love the wind, more than anything else. I love the atmosphere in Barnes & Noble, the idea of Buddhism, and chocolate. I love walking out to the end of the pier at Tybee Island at night. I love putting on headphones in the subways and turning my dance music on as loud as it will go. I love my mother. I love my childhood memories of summer camp. I love laughing. I love dressing up. I love shoes (Even if I don’t wear them.) I love Lacoste and every single that that came with it. I love Pride and Prejudice. I love the names Duncan and Olivia. I loved watching the entire series of Felicity with my mother my senior year of high school. I love sleeping. I love flannel pajama’s, and I love Victoria Secret’s “Pink” line. I love cherry coke. I love when the time hits 1 minute and 52 seconds in Alanis Morisette’s song “Ironic.” I love the store Anthropologie. I love cooking with Rhys. I love going to the movie theater and ordering pretzel bites with cheese. I love hockey games. I love playing The Sims, James Dean, and Ugg Boots. I love shiny things. I love saying the word “Thump” and writing the word “okay.” I love the light a candle makes and the smell that comes from incense. I love the life section of USA Today and the opening monologue on David Letterman. I love the idea of kissing someone to a really great song. I love the idea of love.

XoXo,

Lindsay